Jennifer Sdao, a registered nurse working in the private sector, from Derby, was diagnosed with breast cancer in November 2016. She contracted secondary breast cancer less than two years later and sadly died in October 2020.
Her husband, Dan, 46, and two children - seven-year-old Emily and Sam, 10 - are receiving bereavement counselling which has “given them direction” at a difficult time.
Emily and Sam have also received hand-delivered special care packages which were funded by a COVID-19 Booster Grant from BBC Children in Need. The BBC’s UK charity has also, over the past three years, funded our senior families counsellor post.
Counselling helped us know we're not alone
Dan said: “For us, counselling has helped us to know that we’re not alone.
“Jennifer was a loving mother who would do anything for her children. She was a very caring person, a respected registered nurse, who had lots of friends; she was very popular.
“Her death left us all feeling a bit at sea. There was a lot of anger and emotion; a lot of frustration which, before counselling, we didn’t know how to process.
“I was given the details of Treetops by the Palliative Care team at the Royal Derby Hospital after Jenny’s death. I’m a great advocate for mental health and, having seen a counsellor twice following Jenny’s diagnosis, I felt it was only right for the children to have some kind of support.
“Although we still have a long journey ahead of us, we feel that we’re moving in the right direction.”
Since counselling, they’ve been able to process their feelings better
“The frustration felt by the children came out as anger and this intensified during lockdown. Since counselling, they’ve been able to process their feelings better and this has improved our relationship. Emily’s concentration has improved, too, and the stress levels in the house seem to have reduced somewhat.
“Both were quite apprehensive about attending counselling sessions but the Care Packages have been most welcome; the children were so excited to receive the gifts from Treetops and it changed their minds about wanting to return for more counselling.”
“The bags made us feel happy and excited. They had nice toys in them”
Emily
“We like the toys in them. Treetops are really nice and are going to help us.”
Sam
Young people experience a range of feelings when they are grieving
Jules Kirk, Therapeutic Services Manager and Head of Children’s Services, said: “Children and young people experience a whole range of feelings when they are grieving, such as sadness, isolation, anger, fear and anxiety. “Many of these feelings have been magnified by other types of loss experienced during the pandemic, making it even harder for those who are bereaved.
“Over the past year, thanks to the COVID-19 Booster Grant from BBC Children in Need, we’ve been able to distribute a series of Care Packages for grieving youngsters. These include therapeutic activities to help them manage their grief and cope with the challenges of lockdown.
“We have included activities from five areas which have been shown to promote wellbeing – connecting with others, being active, giving to others, noticing things around us and learning something new – as well as some support around managing feelings arising from grief. Our hope is that there will be something in each pack that connects with each young person in a helpful and meaningful way.”
Bereavement Counselling at Treetops
We offer counselling and emotional support to adults, children, young people and families who are dealing with a life-limiting illness or bereavement.
The service is available to all users of our services and people registered with a GP practice in Derby city or Southern Derbyshire.
Find out more about bereavement counselling here.